Make vagina secretions taste good

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I'd like to let everyone in on a little-known secret about the female body, one that is heavily guarded, even from cisgender women themselves: vaginas are supposed to taste and smell like vaginas. Perhaps you think you already know this information, but you brag about your own vagina's total lack of flavour. Or maybe, you're standing in a drugstore wondering why scented vagina sprays and flavored lubes exist if we were meant to taste regular.

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From Chinese restaurants. Tangy, and just a little sweet. I was drinking a can of V8 the other day, and about 10 minutes after I finished, I realized that the aftertaste was reminiscent of vagina, so there you go.

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Dear Sexpert. Are there other foods that do the same? It seems like the rumor that eating pineapple makes your vaginal fluid taste sweet has been around since middle school.

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Let's get real about vaginas for a minute. Should it be so surprising your lady parts take on the same kind of destructive kind of folklore? We all hear the awkward colloquialisms about vaginas and what they taste like.

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If you are bothered by the aroma and flavor of your lady parts and are looking for ways on how to make your vagina taste good, I have your back. Or should I say your front? I like having a good-tasting pussy and I want you to have one as well, so I have put together the following pro-tips and tricks.

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The first time a sex partner remarks on the taste of your vagina and its fluids is a little like hearing your voice recorded on tape. Wait — so that's me?! Do I really taste bittersweet?

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While we were researching our story on the best and worst foods for your vaginawe hit upon an age-old question that really got us curious: Can eating pineapple actually change your smell and taste below the belt? It's not a totally out-there idea. After all, the foods we eat affect how other secretions smell.

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While there are no valid scientific studies on how to change the taste of your vaginait certainly doesn't stop people from speculating. The rumors are legion: Does garlic make it taste strange? What about asparagus, probably the most well-known pee odor-changer out there? And does pineapple really sweeten the pot?

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Ever since I've been old enough to sneak copies of Teen Magazine at the middle school library, I've known that vaginas sorry, "down theres" are mysterious, confusing places that need to be waxed, washed, wiped, and maintained lest all men run screaming away from you and you end up spending your life attachment parenting a series of rescue cats. As I matured and graduated to an entirely new level of man-obsessed stupidity in magazines, I gradually realized that while ladymags dispense plenty of advice on how vaginas should look, there's no real yardstick on how they should taste, or how a high achieving gal like me who just wants to have the tastiest snatch in town could go about getting it. Science must have some answers, right?

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A healthy vulva — which includes the labia and vaginal opening — tastes and smells like a healthy vulva. That is to say, it might be sweet or sour, metallic or bitter, salty or sharp. It might even have faint hints of what you had for dinner.

Comments

    4 thoughts on “Make vagina secretions taste good

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